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“You Can Go and Love Yourself”


February is the month of love so it’s said. Where we have set a side the 14th to show our love to our significant others, for some that’s chocolate, a nice home cooked meal perhaps flowers, for others its gifts of expensive jewellery or mini breaks. There is no end to the creativity used when celebrating this day.

But do we really need a special day to recognise and celebrate those close to us? Do we really need another marketing opportunity to spend cash.

Valentines day has origins in the Roman festival of Lupercalia, held in mid-February. The festival, which celebrated the coming of spring, included fertility rites and the pairing off of women with men by lottery, pffft I’d like to see idea being floated these days!. 

At the end of the 5th century Lupercalia was replaced with St. Valentine’s Day. So It came to be celebrated as a day of romance from about the 14th century, a day to pour our love on others, but what about the self? How can we possibly show love to others without first showing love to ourselves, to be kind, gracious and forgiving of our inner experience and allow ourselves to be held and celebrated. Surely we would benefit from celebrating this stuff every day, not just one day a year with the bottomless act of materialistic gestures? 

The rates of mental health, suicide, addiction just keep rising and rising and it all boils down to people being so far removed and disconnected from their true and authentic selves. We are all busy hiding our faults and our mistakes thinking who will want to love me? Who will want me, who could possibly fall in love with this mess therefore we begin to slowly self-destruct, to prove to ourselves how awful we are.

This month seen the highly publicised suicide of Caroline Flack, a beautiful soul who most of  the nation loved and took to their hearts, yet she never loved herself. Her alleged attack on her boyfriend, who if you listen to the media and her friends, he did not want the CPS to proceed with, the police report that states she declared she wanted to kill herself, if only she loved herself, if only she reached out to herself and forgave the past mistakes and made friends with her inner critic, you know that voice that lives within that’s always happy to kick you in the teeth!

In the same breath this month has seen Justin Beiber hitting the headlines as his therapist has introduced him to the self-soothing Havening technique which has completely changed his life, he has learnt to be kind, to forgive and most importantly be his own best friend. To heal in the moment “Stuff” while on set, at home or out with friends. 

It doesn’t seem that long ago he was in the headlines being sued by a woman claiming to be pregnant with his baby, the neighbour who’s house he egged, the drag race through the streets while under the influence, the public arrest and court appearance but you know what he has found a way to just be kind, be kind to himself and in the process be a better person.

Havening techniques were introduced to me in 2015, At this time I had the privilege of meeting and chatting with Paul McKenna while attending one of his courses in London. While chatting Paul spoke to me about Havening Techniques, and in 2016 I attended havening training and I was immediately amazed at how quick and effective the results were “get used to miracles“ I was told at the time

In 2017 I then qualified as a havening practitioner and added them to my therapeutic tool box I now have 3 years’ experience in using these techniques and I’m still not used to miracles! I’ve supported our guests in Hydro-ease and in the workplace with toxic work place stress, relationship breakdown, sexual assault, incidents from the Northern Ireland troubles, adverse childhood experiences, addiction, narcissist abuse, childbirth, stress, anxiety, overwhelm, fear phobias .. I could go on and on and yet I am still in awe of these life changing techniques.

I am teaching people to love themselves, warts and all, to be kind to themselves even when they mess it up.

If you feel there are barriers preventing you from being who you ultimately know you are, or if there’s an experience in your past, present or future that’s causing you distress or upset please consider havening .. I can GUARANTEE it will deliver results that WILL change your life. ❤️

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